Clue of Affection Read online

  “Do you truly care at all for me, my lord?” Violet asked, abruptly, her eyes searching his. “I must know the truth.”

  He frowned, his dark eyes glittering with some unspoken emotion as they met hers. “You do not believe me?”

  Aware that he had not answered her question, Violet lifted her chin a touch. “You promised me that you did hold me in some kind of affection, but have then seen very little of me since we made our vows.”

  “I needed to let you recover,” he protested, sounding surprised.

  “And then to send me up here, whilst you remained in town?”

  One long finger tugged at his cravat, as though he was finding it a little uncomfortable. "Our marriage was swift, I know. I had some things to take care of before I returned here." She saw him smile at her, but she narrowed her eyes a little, thinking that something in his demeanor was somewhat strained.

  “I am here now, am I not?” he continued, clearing his throat. “I know things have moved very quickly for you, Violet, but it is done now and I think it best we try and find a way forward together.”

  It was not the answer she had been hoping for, her shoulders slumping as she dropped her eyes from his. He sounded too practical, too matter-of-fact. These were not words of love, nor of affection. Had she been duped?

  A gentle finger touched her chin, slowly turning her face back towards his. Violet cursed the growing sensations in her belly, hating that his touch could arise such passions in her almost immediately. She could not help but recall how he had kissed her in the gardens, her heart thumping wildly in her chest as she saw the way his eyes had now become dark pools.

  "I might prove my affections to you, if you are still in doubt," Lord Greville murmured, his hands now dropping to her waist. "We have wed after all, and there is nothing to prevent such actions. If my words don’t convince you, perhaps I can show you that I do have feelings for you.”

  Violet found that she could not breathe, lost in the sudden intensity of the moment.

  “Although I must insist that you call me Joshua,” he said, even more quietly. “I do not like my wife to refer to me as every other being does. It is an intimacy to be called one’s given name by one’s wife.” He paused, his mouth only inches from hers, evidently waiting for her to do as he had asked.

  “Joshua,” Violet breathed, discovering that her hands had found the lapels on his coat and were clinging to it. He smiled softly at his name on her lips, before dropping his head lower and finding her mouth with his.

  His kiss was slow and unhurried, gradually fanning bright flames that shot through her veins. Violet had never been caught up in such sensations before, finding her breath coming quickly as he tore his mouth from hers and began to press gentle kisses down the curve of her neck and towards her shoulders. The fire turned into a roar, and she did not know what to do, other than accept his embrace.

  “Not here,” he growled, suddenly, catching her up in his arms and striding with her towards the door. “You deserve to be bedded in a place of comfort, where we can take our time.”

  Violet could not help but take her hand from around his neck and gently touch his lips with one finger as he climbed the stairs, sparks shooting from her fingers all the way to her heart. Warmth pooled in her belly as they entered his bedchamber, and she stumbled back a little as he placed her down, only so that he might lock the door.

  It was the first time she had been in his quarters, and the room mirrored hers, but with deeper colors, resembling the woodland that surrounded Colemore. The paintings on the deep navy walls were of nature and greenery, and a large hearth warmed the room. The bed — her heart skipped as she contemplated it — dominated the room, the dark green canopies flowing over the high mattress.

  “I will show you the depth my affections,” he promised her, beginning to remove his coat, which was soon followed by his cravat and shirt, leaving him standing bare-chested before her. “You must simply trust me.”

  Violet found herself drawn to him, her eyes taking in his strong form before her fingers found his warm skin, trailing the deep rivets of his chest and abdominals. She was amazed to discover that her delicate touch made him catch his breath, as she explored his strong frame with great gentleness. She had never seen the male form like this, and certainly never touched it before, discovering that it filled her with a great number of sensations.

  "You will permit me?" he asked, gently pushing her dress from her shoulders so that her bare skin was open to him. Not hearing any protest, he pressed his mouth to the curve of her neck once more, his fingers finding the ties at the back of her dress. Violet could do nothing other than allow him to undress her, realizing that he was something of an expert at such things. Before long, she too was standing as bare as he, save for their undergarments. There was no shame in being so unclothed, for the heat in his eyes told her that he found her more than a little enticing.

  “You are very beautiful, my dear Violet,” he murmured, running his hand down over her arms so that his fingers brushed the curve of her breasts. “There is no need to be embarrassed, love. This is what we are meant to do.”

  “I am not embarrassed,” Violet replied, a slight shudder running through her as he disrobed her completely, pulling off her chemise and stepping back so that he might remove the rest of his own clothes. She closed her eyes tightly as he did so, finding that, despite her words, she was a little afraid to look upon the male form.

  “Here,” he murmured, stepping closer so that their warm bodies were touching. “Do not be afraid to look, my love, or to touch. I want you to do so.”

  Violet’s breath was coming so fast, she thought she might faint. Looking over his body, she struggled to comprehend what she saw, suddenly terrified of what was to come. Lord Greville must have seen it in her eyes, for he drew her into his arms at once, brushing his fingers down over her back and setting her whole body on fire. Violet felt something press against her belly, startling her entirely. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to be afraid, forcing herself to relax.

  “I shall teach you a great many things,” her husband murmured in her ear, making her jump. “This is a wonderful pleasure, my dear wife, and one that I hope we will share often. It is the ultimate expression of love.”

  Violet clung to those words as his lips once more found the curve of her neck. Every time he touched her, she shook or shuddered, overwhelmed by sensations. He was so close to her, her skin began to burn with heat. She reached out and touched the smooth hair dusting his chest, and, as she did so, he pulled back and drew in a ragged breath.

  She took a small step back and looked into his eyes, seeing the raw edge to his gaze, the heat burning within. She braced her hands against his chest and kissed him gently on the lips, her movements tentative and unsure.

  It was as though she had lit a roaring fire in him. His kisses became hard and firm, his hands grasping her around the waist and lifting her bodily, before placing her onto the bed. Violet arched upward as his hand reached for her breasts, trying not to lose herself in the wave of sensations that he sparked in her.

  "Trust me, Violet," he breathed, taking his mouth from hers and beginning to kiss his way down her collarbone, then down to her breasts. A soft sound swirled from her throat as his lips kissed each mound, in turn, his hands continuing their gentle caresses further down her body. Violet grew a little ashamed of the new sounds that were almost forced from her throat, his touch of mouth and hands bringing her into a world she had never experienced before.

  “Don’t be afraid,” he said, as he moved back up towards her. “These are good things, Violet, my love. Don’t hide your desire from me.”

  She could not move, could not speak, could only feel him press at her most private of places, as she was unable to ask the questions that poured into her mind. He took his time, his breathing ragged as he pushed into her slowly, making her cry out.

  “There will be pain, but only for a moment,” he promised, and, just as he said those wor
ds, a sharp tear had her squeezing her eyes closed, her fingers digging into his arms. “It will ease,” she heard him say. “Just breathe.”

  Tears pricked at her eyes, but his quiet murmur and his gentle fingers brushing at her temples slowly began to calm her. The pain subsided, and, at length, she managed to open her eyes.

  “It only hurts the first time,” he promised, smiling gently. “We are one, now, Violet. You are mine, in your entirety, connected together, body and soul.”

  Violet wanted to respond, but, as he began to move slowly within her, heat began to build once more inside her. Her soft cries grew in intensity as he pressed his fingers to her core, making her more aware of her body than ever before. It felt as though she was growing closer to something, something she had never before experienced. Her hands tightened around the tightly corded muscles of his arms, her breathing becoming quick and heavy.

  “Don’t hold back, Violet,” he murmured, his movements becoming even quicker. “Let it happen. Don’t be afraid to let go.”

  She closed her eyes and let out a soft moan, all fear and anxiety pushed away from both her mind and her body as she gave into his ministrations. Her hips bucked of their own accord, and, with a soft scream, she felt herself shatter.

  Something hot burst inside her, and she heard her husband groan aloud, suddenly holding himself still over her, his body taut with tension. She pushed her questions from her mind, forced herself not to start thinking, and simply enjoy the new sensations rolling through her body.

  To her surprise, she found herself quite languid, growing tired after such a startling awakening. Joshua caught her mouth once more with his, before sliding out from her body and lying down beside her, tugging one of the blankets over them both.

  “You are magnificent, my dear,” he murmured, his voice hot in her ear. “I do hope that you enjoyed yourself?”

  “If enjoyed is the word to describe it,” Violet replied, quietly, feeling him shake as he laughed softly.

  “I am glad of it, for I do not intend to leave it long before I come to your bed again,” he replied, wrapping one arm around her waist and settling his head on her shoulder, just above her breast. “I do care for you very much.”

  Violet did not answer, her eyes slowly drifting closed as her body relaxed entirely, thinking that she had never felt as safe and as secure as she did now. She had made herself entirely vulnerable to him, shown him every part of her, and he had accepted such a gift with gratitude and understanding. Perhaps, after all of this, they might find a way forward together, into a marriage of love and affection.

  The cold light of morning woke Violet sometime later, and, turning over to find her husband, she found the bed entirely empty.

  He was gone.

  10

  Joshua ignored the deep stab of guilt that struck straight through him as he mounted his horse and turned its nose towards the gate. He was duty bound to keep his new wife safe, and that was precisely what he was doing. She did not need to know that her life was in danger, nor that the only reason he had married her so quickly was so that he might ensconce her in his country estate, keeping her well hidden from anyone involved.

  It took him a good few hours and a couple of changes of horses before he was back in London, but still, the thought of his wife clung to his memory. He had greatly enjoyed showing her the pleasures that might be shared between husband and wife, and his promise to be true to her was one that he had not made without careful consideration. He was quite determined not to take a mistress, intending to share his bed with Violet, and with Violet alone. However, whether or not she would accept him after what he had done, he could not yet say.

  In truth, one of the main reasons he had returned to his country estate, and to her, was simply to truly make her his own. There could be no reason to seek an annulment or any such thing now, not when they had shared a bed. She was tied to him, and he to her. But now, he was forced to return to London, almost as soon as she had fallen asleep, so that he could continue the investigation. Besides, should he be here in town, then the men involved in searching for Lady Harrington – or Lady Greville, that is -- would, most likely, continue to believe that she too was present in London.

  He had tried to keep their wedding as quiet as possible following the initial announcement of their betrothal, only having the smallest of notices in the paper. He had begged Violet's mother to keep the news to herself for a few more days, until her daughter had recovered completely. He was not sure he had managed to convince her on that count, however, for the lady looked more than keen to share the wonderful news that her daughter was now married.

  Joshua’s mouth thinned as he recalled the way the lady in question had, repeatedly, told him how grateful she was that he was ‘taking on’ her daughter. It was as though he were somehow relieving her of a heavy burden that she had been struggling to carry alone. He could not see Violet as a burden, despite his wife’s mother insisting that he was all kinds of good for wedding Violet. No, in truth, he was as taken with her as he had been that first night, finding that her courage and fortitude had not been dimmed, even with the carriage accident. She had managed to keep her poise as events unfolded around her, although he had seen the flicker in her eyes when he had promised her that he cared deeply for her.

  That line had torn his heart asunder, knowing that he was telling her the biggest of untruths. In short, whilst he admired the lady — cared for her even — and was quite sure she would make him a wonderful wife, he certainly felt nothing akin to love just yet. As she had said repeatedly, he had only just met her. He had found her warm and willing under his caresses, and certainly had enjoyed kissing her, but there was no depth of feeling there. Joshua hoped that such a thing would come in time, but he had to admit that he had quite clearly overstated his emotions when he had promised Violet that he had a great deal of affection for her.

  She had been right when she had assumed that the only reason he had kissed her in the gardens was to hide her identity from sight, but he had repeated to her, over and over, that her assumptions were, rather, incorrect. In short, he had done everything in his power to convince her that he felt more for her than he did, given that this appeared to be the only way to make her willing to wed him. He had not liked the slight sadness in her eyes as she had stood before the clergyman and made her vows, despite her mother’s beaming smile of happiness. It was as though she had resigned herself to the fact that she was to be wed, despite her own feelings on the matter. Had she not told him herself that she was something of a bluestocking, as though that was meant to push him away from her?

  His body burned with embarrassment and anger as he recalled how his now mother-in-law had taken great pains to inform him -- after the ceremony of course -- of all of Violet’s ‘unladylike’ tendencies, and how she had even refused proposals in the past. Whether or not the lady’s intention had been to shame her daughter, he was not quite sure, but he had not liked a single word of their conversation, knowing that Violet was within earshot. Sympathy for his wife rose in his chest as he turned his horse through the private gates that would lead to his townhouse.

  “That carriage mishap was no accident,” he muttered, throwing the reins to his groomsman as he climbed down from his horse and began to walk towards the house. “It is just as well she does not know how grievously in danger she is.” He did not want his wife to be fearful, and, in leaving her as abruptly as he had, he was quite sure she would have more than enough anger and upset to direct towards him, never thinking that she might still be in danger due to the murder she had witnessed. Once again, he had left a couple of his men to watch over Violet.

  “You’re back early!”

  "You're here early," Joshua retorted, seeing that Lord Taylor was not only seated at Joshua's study table but looked as though he had been there for some time. There was a glass half filled with whiskey, and the curtains were still drawn despite the fact it had been daylight for some hours now.

  “I never left,”
Taylor replied, sitting back in his chair and rubbing a hand over his face to hide his yawn. “Too much work to do.” Sitting up straighter, Taylor regarded Joshua with a slight frown on his face. “I thought you had intended to spend some time up there.”

  Joshua shook his head and pulled back the curtains, allowing the light to stream in. “No, indeed. I went to ensure she was settled, that is all.”

  A knowing look came into Taylor’s eyes. “And is she?”

  “Is she what?”

  Taylor grinned. “Settled?”

  Joshua cleared his throat and looked away.

  “You did not simply leave her with no explanation though, surely?” Taylor asked, sounding a little aghast.

  Shrugging, Joshua attempted to turn his attention to the documents on the table, only for Taylor to ask his question again, even more emphatically.

  “In truth, I did what I had to,” Joshua retorted, hating the guilt that was continuing to needle away at him. “She is bound to me now, and will remain up at Colemore whilst I sort out this dastardly mess down here.”

  Taylor shook his head, his jaw firm and eyes dark. “That is not right, Greville. The lady cares for you.”

  "She hardly knows me!" Joshua scoffed, echoing Violet’s words, but found that there was no mirth in Taylor's face.

  "I have seen the way she looks at you," Taylor continued, quietly. "I was there at your hasty wedding and saw her affection for you in her eyes. I am astonished at your behavior towards her, Greville. That is not the man I thought you were."

  Joshua found that he could not respond to this, surprised and a little taken aback by Taylor's judgment of him. He had never seen what Taylor had, evidently, seen in Violet's demeanor, which made him even more irritated.

  “Have you breakfasted?” he asked, changing the subject entirely. “I could do with something to eat myself.”

  Taylor looked as though he might say something more, only to stop, close his mouth and shake his head.